Captain Howdy! Hola! I wrote a thing!

Posted June 6, 2012 By Cullenboyz
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You can find it here at the Archive of Our Own (AO3)


Oh – and let me know if you need an invite for AO3. I can haz.

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Posted August 22, 2011 By Cullenboyz

Not new, but tilt it a few degrees and whole new hotness. UNF! londonrobsten:




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Melbie Toast made a Cedric gif

Posted August 22, 2011 By Cullenboyz

Cedric. ‘nuff said. <3

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MelbieToast did a great public service with this one…

Posted August 21, 2011 By Cullenboyz

Torso, happy trail, NM Rob, thank you for the enhancing, melbietoast:

Such a poor quality photo, but such a high quality man, had to try and enhance this photo a little because, well—-Rob shirtless is something special ;-)

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Yeah, I’m not jelling with the options for Cosmopolis Rob jaunty nicknames. I mean, the others have just tripped off the tongue. Robward (duh)…Tybert…du Rob…Robowski… but for Cosmopolis? Not so much.

Come on, ladies. Work with me. Look at this man in his tight, hot, suit, with his tight, slick hair, and his furrowed brows. Look at the hands. How are we not in possession of a suitable name? Heh…I said, “suit…”

Yeah, I know, he buys the farm at the end. Oh – did I spoil it for you? Welcome out from under your rock. And nope, EPacker is not much of one to mourn, as far as I can tell so far. And we’re all big girls (judging from the amount of time we spend looking for RobP33N), so I think we know it’s Pretend. Rob will be okay, regardless of what fate befalls EP (death) (just saying).

So, yeah, it’s not quite as easy to be inspired, what with the Freaky Hair and the Close Shave (*shudders*). But we’re stuck with this for some months, so let’s make it good. Let’s make it Jaunty. Packinson? Packerson? Immediately, I think of fudge. As in, packing. ’nuff said

Suitbert? Richbert? Come on, ladies – I know you represent a formidable pool of creative talent. Let’s do this thing. CosmopoNickname needed. STAT.

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Adorable Rob on The Seven

Posted April 11, 2011 By Cullenboyz

Lazy ass post of the century… just watched this on Robstenation and it’s typical Rob cuteness, definitely worth a watch or three. :)

veensorb4811 by officialspunkransom

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PRESTO! Easy Comments! ‘Cuz I DO want them…

Posted April 9, 2011 By Cullenboyz

Hiya, lovelies.  I erased the seven thousand spam comments from the viagra-peddlars and made it easy for you to comment. You just have to register, and it SHOULD be easy.  Let me know if reading the code thingy is too hard – I know those can be a pain in the ass. Just send me an email @

XO Mwah!

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David Slade, his kicked-in nuts, and why

Posted March 18, 2011 By Cullenboyz

Yep, howdy. This is me on zero hours of sleep, but I’m beginning to think that may be a good thing, writing-wise speaking. It certainly makes me less inhibited. fucking balls tit. See?

Okay, so David Slade. In the last post, which I’m sure both of you read, I said that David Slade was a bad director, and quite possibly a bad human, and therefore should have his nuts kicked.  I sited, using stealthy internet technology, an interview in which he said (I paraphrase) he’d rather eat donkey poop than watch Twilight. This was shortly before he agreed to take lots of $$$ in exchange for directing Twi Eclipse. I’m thinking of a word, and it rhymes with “store.”

But really, I couldn’t have cared less, until I watched the extended/deleted scenes on my Eclipse DVD, and then I got my panties in a twist. Because all of them (it seemed) were scenes in which Edward and Bella’s relationship and motivation were being discussed/developed. Now I know that Edward and Bella’s relationship is only a tiny, insignificant part of the plot in Eclipse (dammit, where is that sarcasm font?), and I know that it was vitally important for us to see things that were made up out of whole cloth, never in the book, even contradicting canon, like, for instance, Jessica “I’m a dumb-as-a-post bimbo in the book but managed to graduate first in my class in the movie” Stanley’s valedictorian speech. Because Melissa Rosenberg (more on her in another post, grrrr) thinks that Anna Kendrick is super-cute and sparkly, so let’s give her a big ol’ chunk of screen time. Because really, she’s saying words like “decisions” and “permanence” that we need to hear, followed by a close-up on Bella’s pensive face, because we keep forgetting that Bella’s trying to decide whether or not to become a vampire. Wait – oops, no, she’s not. She decided that, what was it – oh, right. TWO FREAKING MOVIES AGO. She practically begged Edward to do her neck at the prom, as I recall. Pardon me while I leave the room to scream. Talk amongst yourselves.

Yeah, okay, I like Anna, too, and I know lots of you thought the speech was super-cute. That’s not really my point,despite having spent most of my time there. You’ll just have to take my word for it. My point was. is. that when I watched the extended/deleted scenes, almost without exception, I thought, “Oh! That dialogue made so much more sense with the extra lines in,” or “That dialogue sounded so much more natural,” or “now I understand what that scene that followed was all about,” or “look, that bastard director deprived us of 3 seconds of Edward’s face, moving and talking.”   Here’s the thing. Or another thing. When I watched the extended/deleted scenes from New Moon, pretty much without exception, I thought, “Damn. That was really bad. Thank goodness they didn’t include it.”  And this continues to solidify my strong opinion that Chris Weitz produced a much better film inNew Moon than Squishy-Nuts Slade did in Eclipse, despite the superior material in the Eclipse book.

Okay bye.

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David Slade Needs a Kick in the Nuts.

Posted February 6, 2011 By Cullenboyz

Liza says I should get my ass in gear and the hell update with some good RPatz Twilight stuff once in a while. Well, she didn’t say it like that, because she doesn’t have my potty mouth, at least not that I’m aware, but we’ve mostly only been around each other in the presence of our elementary aged children, so who can say? She might curse like a sailor, for all I know. The point being, my reader would like more posts.

So, Liza and I watched some good New Moon and Eclipse stuff tonight and I kept saying things like “Oh! I should blog about that!” I confess that I mostly cannot remember the ultra-cool ideas we had, but here’s hoping Liza will have a better brain than I and remind me. But I do remember at least one: David Slade needs to be kicked in the nuts. More on this later. <looking at Liza> Promise.

My proof (some of it)

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Kristen Stewart Interview w/ Ryan Seacrest, 2008

Posted January 28, 2011 By Cullenboyz

This interview is really interesting; it’s done shortly after the Twilight movie came out, when Kristen was 18 years old and had a boyfriend (who apparently sometimes hung around the set). One of the better interviews I’ve heard, really. They talk about her acting technique, Robert’s audition and self-effacing manner, Kristen’s dad, etc. Check it out!

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Official Robert Pattinson as Georges Duroy Bel Ami Photo!

Posted January 20, 2011 By Cullenboyz

I don’t know why this one does it for me… it just does. Official Photo from the movie site.

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Water for Elephants International Movie Trailer

Posted January 19, 2011 By Cullenboyz

This trailer is gorgeous! I love the music, and it includes a lot of beautiful footage not in the U.S. version. Enjoy!

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Water for Elephants, SQUEEEEE!!!!!

Posted January 18, 2011 By Cullenboyz

I know, that’s a little extreme, but I was seriously blown away by the book, which I downloaded and read in under 24 hours last weekend. To say that I am excited for the movie is a gross understatement. I never thought I would say this but… [whispering] I think I’m more excited for this one than I am for Breaking Dawn. There, I said it. I’m just so ready to be disappointed in the Isle Esme stuff, but here’s hoping I’m surprised.

But back to WFE. If you haven’t read it, READ IT! It’s one of the best books I’ve ever read, and I never say that. And take a good look at some RP as Jacob Jankowski (hereafter referred to as the Big Robowski) photos before you do, to get him in your head. You def want Robowski in your head, and everywhere else, for that matter. Okay…the pics! (More to come)
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Water for Elephants,Jacob Jankowski,Robert PattinsonWater for Elephants,Jacob Jankowski,Robert PattinsonWater for Elephants,Jacob Jankowski,Robert Pattinson,RPattz,RPatz

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Rose? Where is Rosalie in the battle?

Posted December 26, 2010 By Cullenboyz

Okey doke, I’m sure lots of other people have noticed this, but I haven’t seen it mentioned anywhere. Rosalie is completely NOT THERE in Eclipse during the battle with the newborn army. They show her in the shot of the Cullens lined up waiting, all looking Intense and yada, but she is not in a single shot I could find thereafter. Huh. I said “thereafter.” Just curious. I mean, poor Eliz. Reaser got left out of the cool scene in which they’re training to fight, but she got in some good digs in the actual battle scene. I suppose Nikki Reed had schedule conflict or something. Bummer. I like Rose and would have enjoyed seeing her kick some newborn butt, not to mention Emmett and her looking out for each other. Hey – I posted! Go, me!

Merry Boxing Day!

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I Suck. Or Something. Twilight, yay.

Posted October 13, 2010 By Cullenboyz

Twilight. Yeah, baby, it’s been over a month. I don’t know quite why I suddenly lost my RPatz mojo – well maybe I do, but I won’t bore you with the details. Real Life crappitsky.   Annnnnnd, there may have been a definitely-unhealthy amount of fanfic reading going on.  Ennahoo, there are Big Goings On that need to be Addressed. Renesmee has been cast. Filming starts next week for Breaking Dawn (!). Yes, I actually found the gumption for a parenthetical exclamation point. Woo. Okay, enough about my malaise.  So who is this Renesmee chick?

Ah, yes: Mackenzie Foy. Who is nine years old. Nine. 9. IX.

And Renesmee tops out at three. 3. III.

Yes, okay, Benjamin Button technology, yada, yada. Still – couldn’t they have found an ultra talented and beautiful five year old? Shirley Temple was five, right? Right? Whatever, I never bought in to the Renesmee story line, anyway. To be perfectly honest, it always kinda horrified me. Not because of the freaky pregnancy and birth (although that was bad enough), but because of the freaky mental development at too early an age. It freaked me out in Dune, and it did in Breaking Dawn, as well.  But I ramble.

Okay, others were cast. That chick who is playing Tanya – I’ll post about her later. I thinks she’s good. The dude who plays Benjamin? Yay – more man candy. Me likey.

Okay, my friends. I have ended the post hiatus. Thanks be to His Holy Hotness.

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Weekend Lemony Twilight Fanfic Goodness!

Posted September 9, 2010 By Cullenboyz

I have been remiss. I have been so busy reading awesome Twilight fanfic that I have neglected to do my bloggy duty and post recs. Please forgive!  More after the lemons:

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By cullenboyz at 2010-07-3
Just Wait by InstantKarmaGirl “AH AU OOC [All Human, Alternate Universe, Out of Character]  In a world saturated by vices, Bella is forced to move in with her father to avoid the repercussions of her past deeds. But after she meets the socially withdrawn adopted son of the town’s doctor, will she allow herself to open up and heal?” There are plenty of warnings and disclaimers on this one at the beginning of each chapter, because it is about characters who have suffered significant abuse as children. That being said, it’s an absolutely stunning, riveting and moving story. “Angst” doesn’t begin to cover it. It’s nearing completion and will be taken down shortly after it’s complete, so if you’re interested, now is the time to read it, while you still can!

GYNAZOLE by Mrs.TheKing
“Bella has to fill an embarrassing prescription. Mr. Cullen is the pharmacist there to greet her. Rated M for every reason my twisted mind can come up with. ExB [Edward and Bella romance] God help us if there is a lemon.” In a word, it’s disgusting. In another word, it’s hilarious. It’s the absurd junior high potty humor joke of a story that just. won’t. die. Mrs.TheKing has the most revolting, twisted, phlegm-filled imagination, and she brings all of her considerable writing talent to the fore in this horrifying love story. I have never had so many lulz per chapter, and it frequently makes my day. But if you don’t find farts and penis casts amusing, back away from the GYNAZOLE now.

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By cullenboyz at 2010-09-05
This first one is obviously that dear-god-it-was hot kiss scene from the first Twilight movie.
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By cullenboyz at 2010-09-05
… and this one looks like the clock tower scene from Eclipse. I love them both!

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No more unposed paparazzi stuff here…

Posted August 31, 2010 By Cullenboyz
Paparazzi SUCK shirt
Paparazzi SUCK by currenteevents
See more t shirts from zazzle

I’ve been thinking about all of the pics of Robert Pattinson, and sometimes Kristen Stewart out and about, trying to have a personal life.  I’ve decided that I don’t want to post them here. I always feel a bit creepy and more than a bit sad for Rob, since he has stated repeatedly that he doesn’t particularly like the attention, although he’s always gracious to his fans. So I’m not posting any more pap photos without a very effing damn good reason (e.g., the holy grail RP/KS finally caught  snogging photo). K. Love you, Rob. mwah.

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Cutest. Man. Ever.

This is a really varied bunch of clips, showing the extreme range of RPatz’s goofiness, which in my opinion, is what makes his hotness so appealing.

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